14 Sep Step Out & Move Up

How to Leave Your Comfort Zone & Meet Your Truest Self

The Stoics say that discomfort is where learning and growth occur. But we don’t have to subscribe to the ancient philosophy of Stoicism to know that! All of us have experienced challenges in our lives that led us to very good places. Of course, this doesn’t usually happen without a bit of a fight on our end because facing adversity is never pleasant. It’s not until we’re out of the woods of difficulty that we can truly appreciate how much we learned through the sticky process of giving ourselves over to hardship.

I know that you know the rewards of stepping outside your comfort zone. There’s no such thing as a life without challenges. However, we can fashion our lives in such a way as to avoid adversity as much as possible. But I beg you to consider, where’s the fun in that?! Some of my greatest learning experiences have arisen because I’ve had the foresight to lean into challenges, much like I’d embrace the good times.

But I want to go a step further and highlight this age-old, ever-present quote from Confucius: “We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.” (More recently, present-day sage Ricky Gervais is credited with saying the same thing!).

When we realize experientially that we only have one life, a lot changes. Time is more precious, leaving us with the paradoxical realization that we don’t have time to rush. So, we need to be present with what’s really important, and what I really wish to highlight here––give up the illusion of control. Instead, we look our resistance straight in the eye.

As creatures of habit, it’s in our nature to avoid adversity and seek comfort. We’re biologically wired to maintain an anxiety-neutral state, free of risk, and behave in a way that supports the status quo. Why? Because it’s safe, not stressful, and frankly more pleasant. But is it?

You know as well as I do that staying boxed into the same routine day after day can make for a somewhat mundane existence––and I’m referring to the internal experience as much as the external one. We don’t need to regularly change our surroundings to meet challenges. It’s quite possible to go on many uncomfortable adventures within our own inner terrain!

So, it all sounds great, but how do we move ourselves outside of our comfort zone and into the growth zone if circumstances aren’t doing that for us? Luckily, you’re in the right place. Or perhaps luck has nothing to do with it, and you actively sought out tips on how to leave your comfort zone every once in a while. If so, good for you––keep reading.

As you’ve probably guessed, we don’t just step from comfort to growth. There are a few layers in between. The sticky, uncomfortable layers of initial fear (what will other people think? I’m not smart enough! It’s not the right time!) and learning (effort, work, failure). It’s all part of the process.

Reaping the Rewards

We begin any learning journey with a willingness to practice courage in the face of fear. The ultimate goal is to reach what Maslow defines as self-actualization: that state in which we are able to fulfill our needs in order to achieve personal, creative goals. This is literally the top of the pyramid whereby we can enjoy the fruits of the laborious gathering of resources that meet our basic survival needs, as well as our requirements for belonging, security, safety, social status, and esteem.

Another benefit emerges from shifting through those sticky layers: resilience. This is why the Stoics advise us to deliberately place ourselves in difficult situations in order to increase our capacity for the inevitable hardship life delivers. I like to sweeten this word up and call it grace, which I see as a kind of soft-edged resilience, or what poet David Whyte describes as a “robust vulnerability.”

Through regular, voluntary exposure to challenges, we become more flexible in mind, attitude, and approach, thus developing greater self-efficacy and a growth mindset. This doesn’t happen overnight. Here’s a quick hit list of what you can start with right now:

• Reframe setbacks as opportunities for learning.
• Prioritize what area of your life you wish to grow.
• Take small steps with loving awareness & self-compassion.
• Create… Creative endeavors always involve an element of risk.
• Challenge your beliefs & consider others’ perspectives.
• Practice impeccable honesty.

A dive into this kind of personal work is always a bit scary. But practices devoted to calming the nervous system and tapping into the subconscious can help make these challenges more accessible and effective learning experiences. I’d love to help.

Contact me to schedule a time that’s convenient for you to experience the power of Reiki or hypnosis. I’m located in Durham Region, serving clients in Clarington and surrounding areas. I look forward to hearing from you.